In Honor of Stupid People

In case you needed further proof the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how???...)



So Much Confusion. Lemme See...Have I Got This Straight?
Sunday, July 11, 2004
Clinton awards Halliburton no-bid contract in Yugoslavia - good...
Bush awards Halliburton no-bid contract in Iraq - bad...

Clinton spends 77 billion on war in Serbia - good...
Bush spends 87 billion in Iraq - bad...

Clinton imposes regime change in Serbia - good...
Bush imposes regime change in Iraq - bad...

Clinton bombs Christian Serbs on behalf of Muslim Albanian terrorists-good...
Bush liberates 25 million from a genocidal dictator - bad...

Clinton invades Haiti and attacks Serbia without UN approval, congressional support or public backing - good

A Stamp Honoring Senator Clinton
Sunday, June 06, 2004
The U.S. Postal service created a stamp with a picture of Senator Hillary Clinton to honor her achievements as the First Lady of our nation. In daily use it was shown that the stamp was not sticking to envelopes.


So, This Guy, Osama, Dies & Appears At The Pearly Gates...
Sunday, February 29, 2004
After his death, Osama bin Laden went to the pearly gates. There he was greeted by George Washington, who proceeded to slap him across the face and berate him, "How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!"

Patrick Henry approached and punched Osama in the nose and shouted,"You wanted to end our liberties but you failed."

James Madison entered, kicked Osama in the stomach and said,"This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!"


Bush cost me my job, my kids and my houses...
Sunday, February 15, 2004
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to speak my mind. I lost my job this past year. When Clinton was president I was secure and prosperous, but in the last year, we had to close our operations. We simply could not compete with foreign labor. This foreign labor worked for low pay under very bad conditions.

Reality Check On The Ten Commandments
Sunday, February 15, 2004
Despite how you may have personally felt about the issue, there was a good logical reason for removing the Ten Commandments monument from the Alabama Supreme Court building.



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