Political Vine: The Insider's Source on Georgia Politics

Political Vine: The Insider's Source on Georgia Politics

The Political Vine is the home of political news, satire, rants, and rumors.


You’re a nobody in politics until ‘Bluto’ has named you…

by PV

Rumors have it that there is a developing “list” out there of pro-TSPLOST candidates running for political office that PV’s taking a keen interest in. Why? Because, if you’re running as a “Republican” and you are for a “tax hike,” no matter what you claim, you are not a “conservative.”

AND…since we have this trivial little matter of a national election for a new figurehead to be put in charge of the U.S.A. occurring on November 6, 2012, in the mindset of many true fiscal conservatives, anyone running for office for any public office in Georgia who parallels the person (and the political party) currently occupying the White House in their approach to taxpayer dollars in any way, should be identified for voters to know and recognize.

And, as the character of Bluto did in the movie Animal House, PV would like to take this opportunity to assign special, easy-to-remember nickames of those politicians on that growing list of tax hike supporters.

Cobb County Commission Chair Tim “The Tool” Lee: If Tim Lee wasn’t county commission chairman, would anyone at the Cobb Chamber of Commerce actually care about him at all? (Brian Noyes or Seth Millican, please chime-in if you can offer a cogent opposing viewpoint here…?)

Cherokee County Commission Chair Buzz “Space Cadet” Ahrens: Athrens’ infamous stance on the T-SPLOST is “I’m for the T-SPLOST, but I don’t approve of the current project list for the Atlanta Region.” Yeahhhh…like that choice of “changing” the project list is not what is going to be on the ballot on July 31st, Buzz. Buzz? Are you there, Buzz? Yo’, Buzz! (knocking on space helmet)…

Brandon “The Pirate” Beach, Candidate for State Senate District 21: So, what does a pirate want most? Loot, of course. And, in the case of the T-SPLOST, anyone in favor of T-SPLOST wants all your loot for the next 10 to 40 years.

Now, why is Beach named “The Pirate?” Two reasons, which just happen to exist and no one can blame PV of being “mean”: 1) There is a ‘Brandon’s Beach’ on the island of Barbados, which has a rich history of being associated with pirates…some even to this day.

And, 2) with Beach being from Louisiana, which just happens to also be the home state of Pirate Jean Laffite, it all just fits so well.

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Today's Deep Thought

Sometimes, when I drive across the desert in the middle of the night, with no other cars around, I start imagining: what if there were no civilization out there? No cities, no factories, no people? And then I think: no people or factories? Then who made this car? And this highway? And I get so confused I have to stick my head out the window into the driving rain---unless there's lightning, because I could get struck on the head by a bolt.



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