Political Vine: The Insider's Source on Georgia Politics

Political Vine: The Insider's Source on Georgia Politics

The Political Vine is the home of political news, satire, rants, and rumors.

Tora! (Newt!) Tora! (Newt!) Tora! (Newt!)

by PV

Rumors have it that Republican candidate for president Newt Gingrich has now, officially, superseded his previous “dumbest thing” he ever did (i.e., sat on a couch with Nancy Pelosi whining about his belief in human-perpetrated global warming) with a brand-spanking NEW “dumbest” thing ever done.

And, his National Campaign Director Michael Krull thought it’d be so cool to share this by posting it on the Gingrich Facebook Wall on Saturday, December 24th at 6:28 PM. Here is the entire post and the highlighted paragraph PV takes issue with:

“By now you’ve likely heard that our effort to gain access to the primary ballot in Virginia was not successful. This was not due to a lack of effort by our volunteers, but the cumbersome process in Virginia.

We are exploring alternate methods to compete in Virginia – stay tuned.

Going forward, we will be as in-front of the process as possible and with the help of our grassroots volunteers we will make all other deadlines.

Newt and I have talked three or four times today and he stated that this is not catastrophic – we will continue to learn and grow. Remember that it was only a few months ago that pundits and the press declared us dead after the paid consultants left. They declared that the decision not to compete in the Ames Straw Poll would mean that Iowans would ignore us. Some will again state that this is fatal.

Newt and I agreed that the analogy is December 1941: We have experienced an unexpected set-back, but we will re-group and re-focus with increased determination, commitment and positive action. Throughout the next months there will be ups and downs; there will be successes and failures; there will be easy victories and difficult days – but in the end we will stand victorious.

To help achieve that outcome we each need to spend the next 24 hours enjoying our families and friends as much as possible. Enjoy their company. Be grateful for them. Gather strength from them. The promise of a better future for our family and friends is the reason we are committed to rebuilding the America we love.

May the spirit of the season fill each of you. Merry Christmas.

Michael Krull
National Campaign Director”

PV Says WTF? Really, Newt? You’re going to compare your failure to get on a ballot with “December 1941″…presumably, December 7th, 1941, perhaps?

Lest we at the Political Vine jump to any conclusions, let’s consider the possibilities:

1) Was it a surprise “attack” of Virginia’s Republican Party’s Rules that prohibited Newt Gingrich from getting his name on the ballot?

2) Were any of Newt Gingrich’s campaign volunteers gunned-down by any kamikaze aircraft and/or volunteer members of OTHER presidential campaigns working to get their candidate on the ballot with enough signatures?

3) Did torpedoes dropped from flying aircraft explode and sink any SUVs piloted by Newt’s volunteers criss-crossing the state trying to get signatures before the deadline?

4) Will the date that Virginia announced that Newt’s name will not be on the ballot be the “Day of Infamy” or the “Day of Stupidity” for the Gingrich campaign?

5) Could it have really been the Germans who bombed Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941, and then they emigrated to Virginia, became Republicans, and ambushed Newt Gingrich when he tried to get his name on the ballot?

PV could go on and on here, but we’re not historians, we’re political satirists (and this stuff just writes itself).

Newt Gingrich Fans, pay attention to this question: If Barack Obama had said ANYTHING remotely resembling this kind of moronic, puerile analogy, would you have jumped all over him, Yes or No?

And, if the answer is “Yes”, but you don’t utter a peep concerning Newt’s use of this ridiculous “analogy,” then that makes you a potential candidate for being rather…intellectually dishonest yourself.

Newt’s fascination with repeatedly putting his own feet into his mouth aside, it is especially poignant to PV that not too long ago, a Newt supporter (in reference to the then-unraveling Herman Cain campaign) told the PV that “any candidate that cannot run their campaign effectively should not be President”…and, PV wonders if that theory applies to their own candidate now who could not acquire 10,000 registered voter signatures to get his name successfully on a state’s ballot?

Ya know, if you cannot find 10,000 registered voters, how the heck are you going to find 10,000,000* of them???

In a recent online article that exposed the fraud perpetrated by CNN when they claimed Ron Paul “abruptly ended” the interview with CNN reporter(sic) Gloria Borger last week, Newt offered his brilliant(sic) insight into the matter about Ron Paul’s newsletters: “But he’s sufficiently ready to be president? It strikes me it raises some fundamental questions about [Ron Paul].”

PV Sez: Same “fundamental questions” go for you, too, Newt.

PV Prediction: This year, the PPP will not decide the GOP candidate…the Republican Convention will actually be a real convention (complete with delegates/alternates being wined, dined, bribed, extorted, and whatever else people can do to secure a nomination). Count on bedlam and flotsam.

*10,000,000 votes was the approximate number of popular votes that Obama beat McCain by in 2008. (Yes, we know, Liberal Art Majors, that this country’s Presidential Elections are based on the results of the Electoral College and not the popular vote.)

One Response to “Tora! (Newt!) Tora! (Newt!) Tora! (Newt!)

  1. jack bouroudijian Says:

    The most ardent of Ron Paul’s followers think the US government is too big when it has more people than the secret number Ron Paul has written on his magic anti-alien hemp underpants.

Today's Deep Thought

Instead of having 'answers' on a math test, they should just call them 'impressions,' and if you got a different 'impression,' so what, can't we all be brothers?


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