EDITOR'S NOTE
In previous editions, we've discussed the analogy of the movie The Longest Yard and the wipeout of both Congresswoman (sic)Cynthia McKinney and State Rep Billy McKinney from the political landscape. There was another segment of the movie that we have now discovered analogous to the political arena: The concept of inflicting upon your opponent an extra knee or an elbow after the play is called dead and the referee wasn't looking.
So the following list integrates this "extra"...uumph to all of the Zeroes of this political season, and gives the Game Ball to the Heroes of the season. This list is by no means the "complete list" for the 2002 Election Season, but it's a healthy start. Enjoy, if you will...unless you're a Zero or a supporter of the Zeroes...
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Hero: Georgia Governor-Elect Sonny Perdue
Zero: One-Term Georgia Governor Roy "The King" Barnes
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Hero: U.S. Senator-Elect Saxby Chambliss
Zero: One-Term Georgia Senator Max Cleland
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Hero: Georgia GOP Chairman Ralph C. Reed, Jr.
Zero: State Rep. and Georgia Democratic Party Chairman Calvin Smyre
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Hero: President George W. Bush
Zero: Senator Tom Daschle and his Democrat demagoguery
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Hero: Karl Rove, Senior Advisor to President George W. Bush
Zero: James Carville, Strategist of Zero Message for the Dems this year.
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Hero: Congressional Candidate-Elect Denese Majette (GA-4)
Zero: Too Many-Termed Communist Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney (GA-4)
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Hero: John Noel, Winner of State House District #44 in his first race ever.
Zero: Billy McKinney, the man who should have "J-E-W-S" etched onto his tombstone.
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Hero: Congressman-Elect Phil Gingrey (GA-11)
Zeroes: Roger Kahn and Cecil Staton
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Hero: Congressman-Elect John Linder (New GA-7)
Zero: Congressman Bob Barr (Old GA-7) Who Should Have Stayed Put and Run In The 11th
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Hero: Congressman-Elect Max Burns (New GA-12)
Zero: Charles "Champ" Walker, Son-of-an-Unethical Ex-State Senator
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Hero: State Senator-Elect Randy Hall
Zero: Unethical (and defeated) Ex-State Senator Charles Walker, Sr.
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Hero: State Representative-Elect Bill Heath
Zero: Outgoing Speaker-of-the-House Tom Murphy
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Hero: Bo Harmon, Campaign Manager for both John Linder and Saxby Chambliss
Zero:?? for Bob Barr and ?? for Max Cleland ("??" means they didn't have much of an impact on our memory to remember)
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Hero: Michelle Hitt, Press Secretary for Saxby Chambliss
Zero: Jamal Simmons, Press Secretary for Max Cleland
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Hero: Scott Rials, Campaign Manager for Sonny Perdue
Zero: Bobby Kahn, Campaign Manager for Roy Barnes
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Heroes: The Support Staff for Saxby Chambliss
Zeroes: The Support Staff for Max Cleland
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Heroes: The Support Staff for Sonny Perdue (Dan, Derrick, Trey, Jennifer, Julie, et al.)
Zeroes: The Support Staff for Roy Barnes (Billy Linville, et al.)
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Hero: State School Superintendent-Elect Kathy Cox
Zero: Democrat Barbara Christmas
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Hero: Mike Bowers, Attorney for Sonny Perdue Campaign
Zero: Peter Canfield, Attorney for WSB-TV
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Hero: John Sugg, Senior Editor of Creative Loafing, for correctly reporting the collusion of WSB-TV and Roy Barnes. (Note to Sugg: Don't worry. This endorsement will not tarnish your Left-Wing reputation. We still disagree with you 97.994% of the time.)
Zero: The Atlanta-Journal & Constitution for their half-assed reporting of the REAL story with WSB-TV's Left-Wing management and their sleazy lawyers.
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Heroes: FOX 5 News, 11 Alive, and Clear News for not playing politics with the FCC rules
Zeroes: WSB-TV, their sleazy reporters, and their sleazier legal team for playing shills for Roy Barnes. Say, WSB-TV? How'd you like an ethics complaint for giving Roy Barnes a Contribution In-Kind for illegally blocking the airing of Sonny's ad for 24 hours? We figure the contribution is worth the opportunity cost of the number of times the ad should have run during those 24 hours.
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Heroes: Georgia members of the National Rifle Association who voted for Sonny Perdue.
Zero: The National Rifle Association for endorsing Barnes when both Perdue and Barnes had been longtime members of the NRA.
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Hero: Sue Everhart, 6th District Chairman, for always showing grace under pressure.
Zeroes: Marilyn Gilhuly, Cobb County GOP Chair, for destroying the Cobb GOP with mean-spirited nonsense, along with consistently showing disrespect for 6th District Congressman, Johnny Isakson. (Note: Marilyn had a lot of help from her complicit "Goon Squad" consisting of people like Jim Mock, Anthony-Scott Hobbs, Paul Ploener, Dawn Strickland, Lou Stafford, Doris Fowler, Frank Molesky, and others.)
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Hero: Johnny Isakson, our 6th District Congressman
Zero: Frank Molesky, Cobb GOP member of Gilhuly's Goons, for (literally) turning his back on Johnny Isakson while Johnny made his speech to the crowd at the Galleria Bush event on November 2. (Note to Frank: Has anyone ever told you that you might be an idiot?)
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Hero: State Senator-Elect Renee Unterman
Zeroes: Joyce Stevens and Maria Strollo for running nasty (and wide-margin losing) campaigns against Unterman.
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Hero: State Senator-Elect Dan Moody
Zero: Ralph Reed-Recruited Candidate Price Harding
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Heroes: Phil Gingrey's and John Linder's Campaign Staffs (two separate entities)
Zero: Linda Hamrick and her wage-political-battles-as-religious-war tactics.
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Hero: State Senator Eric Johnson (for making the Year 2002 count)
Zero: Lt. Governor Mark Taylor (cry us a river, Mark)
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Heroes: State Senators Dan Lee, Don Cheeks, and Rooney Bowen for switching to the GOP and giving us control of the state senate.
Zeroes: Lt. Governor Mark Taylor and the rest of the Dem state senators
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Hero: State Representative-Elect Jill Chambers (R) for working her ass off to win a district drawn 55% for the Dems.
Zero: Dem candidate Ralph Bowdon
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Heroes: Voters of Georgia for rejecting partisan gerrymandering
Zeroes: Roy Barnes and his whole crew for drawing, ramming through the legislature, then spending $400,000 of taxpayer money suing John Ashcroft's Justice Department to defend their "maps."
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Hero: Michael Byrd, Commission Chairman-Elect of Cherokee County Commission
Zero: Emily Lemcke, Defeated Republican-turned-Socialist Chairman of Cherokee County
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Hero: State Senator David Shafer
Zero: Ex-State Rep Bobby Reese for having his head handed to him on special election night after his campaign consultants put out sleazy (and idiotic) mail against Shafer.
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Hero: Mark Davis, for leading the GoodbyeCynthia.com effort and causing Cynthia McKinney to get trounced with over 20,000 Republican volunteer crossover votes.
Zero: The Atlanta Journal-Constitution for incompetence in analyzing election returns. The AJC claimed that only 3,100 crossover votes occurred. Wonder whose butt they're kissing with that garbage?
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Heroes: Anyone who doesn't watch the WSB-TV News garbage.
Zero: Reporter Bill Nigut who, we hear, is taking-up a collection for the surgery required to remove his lips from Roy Barnes' rear-end.
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Heroes: Senator Paul Coverdell, Newt Gingrich, Bob Irvin, Max Davis, John Linder, & Mack Mattingly who, in 1975, started meeting and planning the Republican takeover of Georgia. They met every Friday for 2-3 hours for a number of years to strategize how the GOP would become a party of ideas, not a party of race. Their planning led to Mack Mattingly winning U.S. Senator in 1980.
Zeroes: The Georgia State Democrat Party and their meaningless gobbley-gook crap they think Georgians will buy.
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Heroes: The contributors to Sonny Perdue's campaign who gave him $3.4 million to beat a tyrant.
Zeroes: The businessmen and lobbyists who gave Roy Barnes $20 million and still cannot figure out what hit them.
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Heroes: Morris News and their reporters for reporting fairly on the state election season.
Zeroes: Matt Towery and Bill Shipp for being right behind Bill Nigut in showering Barnes' ass with kisses (and campaign contributions). Note to Morris Communications: Why do you waste time and money with these numbskulls? InsiderAdvantage.com is about to become Insider-DisAdvantage.com
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Heroes: The Voters of Georgia and Florida who elected Republican Governors.
Zeroes: InsiderAdvantage.com who no longer has any advantage due to their being completely wrong on Election Day predictions for both Georgia and Florida.
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Heroes: FOX News Channel for researching and reporting the whole story.
Zeroes: CNN-Spin for always looking out for the welfare of the Democrats, terrorists and snipers.
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Hero: Shirley Franklin, Mayor of Atlanta for not following in the crooked footsteps of her predecessor for the last 8 years.
Zero: Bill Campbell, Former-Mayor of Atlanta who left the City $90,000,000 in the hole.
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Heroes: Writers and Actors of the TV show "Buffy The Vampire Slayer"
Zeroes: Writers and Actors of the TV show "The West Wing"
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Hero: Heather Locklear, Major GOP Babe
Zero: Barbra Streisand, Major Left-Wing Idiot
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Epilogue
Similar to the segment in The Longest Yard when Burt asks the team "Want to have some fun?...," there is still some more pain we'd like to inflict upon WSB-TV for their actions during the last week of the Election. As a television broadcaster, they have a responsibility to adhere to the broadcast principles required by the FCC. They, through the actions of Peter Canfield, the lead attorney, and Greg Stone, VP and GM of WSB-TV, decided they had the power to violate those principles..
SO, we'd like to encourage our readership to take their choice of firing bullet passes into WSB-TV's groin or just by piling-on against WSB-TV. You can do this by filing a written complaint against them with the FCC (Click Here). And, it's not a complaint that will get immediate action or anything, but it is a complaint the FCC will stuff into an ever-expanding file of complaints against WSB-TV. And, when WSB-TV's license comes up for renewal in however many years that is, the FCC Commissioners will take all those complaints out and review them and drill WSB-TV on their actions. And, they might just lose their license to broadcast. And, Bill Nigut might have to hang around on the street corner with a sign that says "Will Scrub Your Toilet For A Reporting Job." Won't that be a crying shame?