Gotta Pay Attention, Osama...

Thursday, March 20, 2003

After finally getting nailed by a missile with his name on it, Osama Bin Laden made his way to the Pearly Gates.

He was greeted there by George Washington. "How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yelled Mr. Washington, slapping Osama in the face.

Patrick Henry came up next and faced him. "You wanted to end the Americans' liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punched Osama in the nose.

James Madison approached him next, and said, "This is why I allowed the Federal government to provide for the common defense!" He delivered a kick to Osama's knee.

Osama was subjected to similar beatings from John Randolph of Roanoke, James Monroe, and 67 other people who have the same love for liberty and America.

By this time, Osama was writhing on the ground. Thomas Jefferson picked him up and hurled him back toward the gate where he was to be judged.

As Osama awaited his journey to his final, very hot destination, he screamed, "This is not what I was promised!"

An angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you. What did you think I said?"