ATLANTA - Today, the law firm of McKenna, Long Aldridge will announce that it is merging with Hyatt Legal Services. The new entity will be named Tanenblatt, Hyatt, and Evans ("THE").

The new law firm's chief operating officer, Eric Tanenblatt, says "The McKenna Long Aldridge law firm just hasn't been high-profile enough in America. I have worked here off and on over the last two years, and I am not happy with the market penetration of MLA."

"It is our goal," Tanenblatt said "to plant the THE law firm into every strip shopping center, Wal-Mart shopping center, COSTCO...wherever we can find a location where people need our legal services, that's where we will go. When we have completed our expansion and marketing roll-out, the THE law firm will become as ubiquitous and desired as a Krispy Kreme doughnut shop."

"This change of name, and market focus, will blow the doors off of our previous marketing efforts. As an example, take our participation in the 'Cows on Parade' program last year. People called us asking if we could deliver to other floors in the Suntrust Plaza, apparently confusing us with the cows used in Chick-fil-A commercials. We are on the right track now," Tanenblatt said.

Randy Evans, who recently joined MLA from Arnall, Golden, Gregory, summed-up his feelings for the new entity by simply pointing out, "See? See? My name is now on the door. I'm the MAN! Who the hell needs [Dennis] Hastert? Y'all can all just kiss my rear now!" Evans said, evidently gleeful of his newly recognized status.

When Tanenblatt was questioned as to how he could be a partner in THE firm when the Georgia State Bar prohibited people without law degrees from being law firm partners, Tanenblatt simply responded "Bar? Who cares what the bar says? I OWN the freakin' bar! Drinks for everyone...on me!"