I grew up in the late 50’s and early 60’s and during that time, being a little boy consisted of marbles, water guns and cap pistols. Things were simpler in the Ward and June Cleaver generation and entertainment was supplied by a big childhood imagination and ingenuity. Playing cowboys and Indians (if I can still say Indians in that context) was the main activity from the time I could walk through age 10 or so. My "prairie" consisted of three acres of woods behind the family home. My horse was an old broom handle with a store bought padded horse head stuck on one end. Some of my friends were not as affluent as I and they had to make do with tobacco sticks sans the horse head. Riding a tobacco-stick was somewhat risky as you got splinters on the inside of your legs if you were not careful. The converted broom handle was the only way to ride!
I had a genuine "Have Gun Will Travel" gun and holster set made famous by Richard Boone who starred as "Paladin" in the 50’s TV series. An added optional accessory was the small derringer that Paladin hides under his belt buckle. I used to practice my draw for hours in front of a mirror and repeat the words of Paladin over and over again. I once tried to paint a black moustache on my upper lip with a crayon but it wouldn’t stay on for long. Magic Markers had not yet been invented. To this day, I can still sing the ballad of Paladin word for word. "Have Gun Will Travel reads the card of a maaaan…A knight without armor in a savage laaaand, etc." Life was good in the 50’s as it didn’t take much to entertain kids back then.
My brother, who was two years my younger, donned a Roy Rogers outfit complete with two chrome, die cast, six shooters with pearl grips. Actually, the grips were plastic but at 5 years of age you are basically an idiot and will believe anything. Cap pistols back then used "roll caps" which came in a box of five rolls for a penny. I used to double my caps to make a louder bang. My mother would not tolerate using caps inside, as they would stink up the house. We never played indoors unless it rained besides, the woods out back were too much of an attraction and adventure for young cowboys.
Fast forward 45 plus years. Today I read in the Washington Post (with great sadness I might add) that the Attorney General in New York was suing Wal-Mart to try to stop them from selling toy guns. It seems that two Brooklyn teenagers had toy guns in their possession when they were shot by undercover police so don’t blame these juvenile delinquents who were playing with toy guns WAY past their prime, blame the toy gun maker or Wally World and the earth will be suddenly safe for all inhabitants. Somehow the police of the 50’s knew that when they saw two knee high kids that were riding tobacco sticks and wearing toy guns and boots that no danger could possibly come to society. The toy guns used in the NY incident were obviously being used to simulate real criminal acts while the toy guns my brother and I used were to simulate actions of real western heroes.
I did some extensive and very unscientific research on this week’s column while I was at the Wal-Mart this morning getting motor oil. Before reaching the automotive section, I had to pass through the toy section and I thought, "why not go down memory lane and check out the toy guns?" I just knew that there would be a sawed off Winchester made famous by Steve McQueen in the "Wanted Dead or Alive" series or a lever action carbine with a large round handle that Chuck Conners used each week in "The Rifleman." My heart was saddened when all I could find was a generic black plastic six shooter in shrink wrap that was made in Taiwan complete with a big, florescent orange, lawyer mandated, non-removable cover on the end of the barrel that looked like BoZo the Clown’s nose. The caps for the aforementioned six shooter (if you could call it that) were also shrink wrapped (from China) and were $1.98 for five boxes, which is Wal-Mart’s everyday low price. Roy and Paladin must be rolling over in their graves.
The epitaph of this story (a la Bat Masterson) will read as follows: "Here lies another piece of classic Americana...gone but not forgotten." Kids today sit in front of a Playstation and pretend that they are some futuristic cyborg never realizing that the "Old West" provided real fun (with a little imagination) while at the same time, teaching young minds a little something about history. Only by realizing our past, can we ever hope to deal with our future. I still get misty-eyed during reruns of Lonesome Dove.
Now before I get a lot of hate email from the soccer moms screaming at me that their kids will NEVER play with guns, let’s understand that these are toy guns and toys are meant to be played with. Is there any difference in playing with a plastic six shooter or a nuclear tipped missile fired from some spaceship drone via TV? Who knows Mom, by giving your kids the gift of guns, maybe the little brats will grow up to be a farmer or an editor. They could do a LOT worse. Happy Trails!
| John G. Lee John is the Editor of The Carolina Conservative and resides in Hamer, SC. To subscribe to his totally outrageous, politically incorrect column, simply email The Carolina Conservative and type "subscribe" in the subject line. It's FREE! |