Ms. Susan Smith #221487
Leath Correctional Institution
28098 Airport Rd.
Greenwood SC 29649
Dear Susan,
This is John G. Lee, a parent from Hamer, South Carolina. You don’t know me but I found your profile at WriteAPrisoner.com and just wanted to drop you a line and say "hi." Have you been doing (other than time) anything interesting lately? How is the food? I know things have certainly been "dead" around here. I thought I would let you know what a really wonderful service WriteAPrisoner.com is. It is so nice for convicted multiple murderers, rapists, child molesters, etc. to be able to communicate with law abiding citizens and children via the Internet while the taxpayers pick up the tab, don’t you think? Do we live in a great country or what?
So Susan, what Internet service provider DO you use? I know mine costs 24 bucks per month and since you are in the pen (oops, sorry Correctional Institution) and have a negative cash flow, I guess the state is picking up the tab on your Internet service. Do you think you could put in a good word for me with those bill paying state officials in South Carolina so I can get my Internet service free? I would appreciate all the help you could give me but please don’t give my name as a reference on your next job. You know how it is here on the "outside."
Your photo at WriteAPrisoner looks great. You appear tanned, fit and relaxed. Have you been working out at the gym? I know that staying in shape here on the "outside" is really hard, especially with a real job to go to daily. One day I plan to retire and spend my remaining days surfing the Internet like you and I can’t wait. I hope to retire when I’m 55 if everything goes well or sooner should the state decide to take over my responsibilities. It must be nice to retire at 31 but I guess hard work has its rewards.
Susan, I was so impressed with your profile, especially the part saying that during your spare time, you enjoy reading, writing, working puzzles and that you love rainbows, Mickey Mouse, the beach, the mountains and waterfalls. Call me naïve, but how do you do all these things and still find time to visit the beach and the mountains and waterfalls? Maybe in a couple of decades you can meet a wonderful person with a similar background to share visits to the beach and the mountains but you may want to nix the idea of inviting a new friend to a waterfall. I know, there are great guys out there who would go with you anywhere but personally, I am a little hesitant about getting into a car driven by you, especially near any water.
Susan, have you thought about a career in politics? You would make a great political analyst or lawyer. Who else could "spin" the murder of her two small children into to phrase like "I will always hurt for the pain that I have caused my children." Come to think of it, drowning would probably be a "painful" experience but I equate "painful" with a trip to the dentist instead of a trip to the bottom of some lake strapped in a car seat, but hey, what do I know? Another line in your profile that would qualify for "spin of the year" would be the statement that you are sensitive, caring and kind-hearted. Susan….Dick Morris or James Carville has NOTHING on you girlfriend!
Susan, I guess we will never have a real meaningful relationship (it’s those pesky iron bars that would get in the way) but I know that there is a friend out there for you. You represent yourself as such a sensitive, child-loving, caring and kindhearted person. Who could NOT be impressed? If you have the time (in prison, is there any other kind) would you please email me as I patiently await you response. Happy Trails!
| John G. Lee John is the Editor of The Carolina Conservative and resides in Hamer, SC. To subscribe to his totally outrageous, politically incorrect column, simply email The Carolina Conservative and type "subscribe" in the subject line. It's FREE! |