The ROTFLMAO Club

Rumors have it that the Political Vine has started a "David Shafer Fan Club" as a joke, and is e-mailing invitations out to any and all Shafer devotees willing to jump at the chance to be a member of Shafer's "fan club."

If you are one of the few, the proud, and the completely bereft of any kind of life and have been granted an invitation to join said club, this is the invitation you would have received:

Hello [entity bereft of a life and on the brink of suicide],

davidshaferfanclub@yahoo.com has invited [you] to join the DavidShaferFanClub group hosted by Yahoo! Groups, a free, easy-to-use community service.

By joining DavidShaferFanClub, you will be able to exchange messages with other group members, store photos and files, coordinate events and more.

PV Chokes: Puh-leeze! Look, if we were to start a Shafer Fan Club, this is how our invitation would read:

Exclusive Offer! If you join the David Shafer Fan Club ("DSFC")in the next 7 days, we will send you, absolutely free, a one-gallon plastic jug filled to the top with hot air expelled from David Shafer's very own mouth! The jug will be free, but shipping and handling will cost you $100 due to the hazardous-material classification of Shafer's airy output.

AND, that's not all! As a bonus for joining the club AND sending us an e-mail of your favorite encounter with David Shafer, we will offer you the opportunity to join a special Webcast of David Shafer's next legislative session! You will be given a special URL that taps the Webcam sitting atop Senator Shafer's desk and you will witness every single fantastic speech offered from Senator Shafer while he is at this desk!

Imagine! Every utterance! Every reference to War and Peace! Every reference to every history book that David Shafer has ever read that has a bearing on the events of the session...YOU will be one of the very few who will be privy to his genius!

AND, as a very, very, VERY special bonus, if you sign-up in the next 7 days, and contribute $25 to David Shafer, we will send you a SIGNED reproduction of Senator Shafer's bill that passed unanimously in the Senate concerning legalizing the use of a firearm by quadriplegics during bow-and-arrow season if the quadriplegic is on his/her own property. [Editor's note: nothing against quadriplegics, but why can't they use firearms during firearm hunting season, and, if a specially-designed bow does not exist for their use, simply not be able to participate during bow-hunting season?]

But, you must act SOON for these very special offers as there will be a limited number of people who will be allowed into the DSFC!

In short, it wasn't us. It was the man himself, David Shafer, who dreamed-up this "fan club." Oboy, we can't wait for the file and picture exchange to happen in the club! (imagine a squealing, excited voice).

Rumors further have it that Senator Shafer is looking to bundle-up his "fan club" package and sell it as a kit to senators like Eric Johnson and Don Balfour. Because the one thing we know there will never be a shortage of in the state senate are senators who think they are the center of the universe...

No Truer RINO Exists Than In The State Senate District 37 Race

Rumors have it that there is a pink elephant running as a Republican in Senate District 37 in Cobb County. His name is Lance A. Cooper and he is so pink that, to be any more pink, he would have to contribute money to the Communist Party of America.

He has not done that, as of yet, but, these are the Donkeys he has contributed to in the past 1.5 years:

RICK CRAWFORD FOR CONGRESS (D-GA)
Democrat running to defeat 11th District Republican Phil Gingrey
2/10/2004: $500.00
3/11/2004: $500.00

DEMOCRATIC SENATORIAL CAMPAIGN COMMITTEE (self-explanatory)
6/18/2003: $1,000.00

JOHN EDWARDS FOR PRESIDENT (D)
1/13/2003: $2,000.00

HARRY REID FOR U.S. SENATE (D-NV)
3/21/2003: $2,000.00
12/23/2003: $1,000.00

DENISE MAJETTE FOR SENATE (D-GA)
3/31/2003: $1,000.00
9/15/2003: $1,000.00

INEZ TENENBAUM FOR US SENATE (D-SC)
2/20/2004: $500.00

FRIENDS OF JOHN BARROW (D-GA)
Running in 12th Congressional District
2/17/2004: $2,000.00

PV Sez: Dang, Lance...just to let you know, qualifying as a Republican does not make you one. There are these bizarro rules that require candidates to divulge all of their contributions, and all of these democrats have exposed your true self.

We hope Shawn Davis shoves your viability as a Republican candidate into a Cobb County ditch and bulldozes you flat.

Beware of The Sign Nazis This Election Season...

Remember the character on Seinfeld known as The Soup Nazi ("No Soup For YOU!")? Well, rumors have it that there will be roving patrols of "sign nazis" who will be looking for illegally planted signs in Cherokee, Cobb, Forsyth, and Fulton counties during this campaign season.

When they come upon a sign planted in the state right-of-way, the sign will be marked as illegal, and a photo will be taken. As we get these pictures throughout the campaign season, we plan to post them on our Website and shame those candidates for breaking the laws and sign ordinances of the various municipalities. After all, if you're running for office and cannot follow simple laws laid down, who are you to be qualified to write and decide laws for the rest of us?

PV Note: Note to anyone who comes upon an illegal sign. Don't kick it down. Take a picture with one of them new-fangled camera phones and e-mail it here. We'll learn that campaign an embarrassing lesson... ;-)